Damn boy, this shit be crazy! We are circling the Bank of Liberty and the surrounding blocks are more backed up with bacon than my colon after three Burger Shot Heart Stoppers! The LCPD have the place surrounded and the streets are awash with red and blue light from parked LCPD cruisers. Wait! What’s this? It appears that members of the elite N.O.O.S.E. team are now also on the scene. I can see two of their pimped-out Patriot ATVs that just powerslided in from Calcium Street. Whoever is holding up that bank, ain’t gonna be leaving standing up.

There’s movement at the front of the Bank and…Whoa shit! Shooting! Lots of shooting! Two, no three, at least three gunmen in balaclavas just appeared at the front of the Bank and stated throwing lead all over the place. Damn! There are cops dropping left right and centre and one of the gunmen is tossing something…

KABOOM!

She-it! A cop car just exploded and another close by is now burning! I can see someone on fire, I think it’s a cop! He’s rolling on the ground trying to put himself out. Man, that’s gonna make the six o’clock Weasel News for sure. I can see anoth…

KABOOM!

Another car exploded! Oh shit!

KABOOM!

And another! This is some crazy arse shit people! Wait, they are making a run for it. I can see the gunmen. They are making their way down an alley beside the Bank. There’s more shooting on the ground than at my old grade school in Alderney. They are using the buildings and dumpsters as cover whilst firing assault rifles and throwing grenades. I can see puffs of dust and debris as concrete pillars disintegrate under the weight of gun fire. There are bodies and burning patrol cars all around. There’s a cop limping away. Oh God, he just got shot in the back! These guys are some serious bad asses. One dude has just gunned down four cops with an AK-fucking-47!

KABOOM!

Another car just blew up at the end of the alley behind the Bank and the gunmen are now making their way across Diamond Street. If you have seen that movie H.E.A.T. you’ll know what I’m seeing here. These guys are carrying some big arse gym bags on their backs and brassing up anything that moves. Those bags must be holding a lot of paper because they are bulging more than my woman Lafonda’s sweats! The gunmen just ducked behind an apartment block and out of sight. We are circling back around to get another view. I can hear the sound of gunfire and car alarms over the whine of the chopper’s engines.

KABOOM!

God damn! Oh, sorry Ma…There goes another cop car, how many is that? Five? Six? These guys are packing some serious firepower. What’s that? Oh, damn. A couple of cops just bought it and fell from two fire escapes, landing in a bloody mess in Cavity Lane. The gunmen are now crossing back over Bismarck Avenue. If you are driving anywhere in Algonquin, here’s a red hot tip from your man Denzel Brown, eye-in-the-sky…Stay the fuck away from Chinatown!

Ok, now a N.O.O.S.E. chopper is hovering beside us and a guy dressed all in black is giving me the finger and not in a good way. I think we need to back the hell away. Stringfellow, take us around to the Algonquin Bridge exit and…Damn! Those cats are shooting at the N.O.O.S.E. chopper. Get us the fuck out of here Stringfellow, now!

It appears that the gunmen have fled into the subway. From up here it looks like the LCPD have the whole of Lower Algonquin locked down tight. We are currently hovering over Colony Island and I can see a massive police road block in place at the Western entrance to the Algonquin Bridge. There must be at least five patrol cars parked behind a row of concrete blocks. We have been told by the LCPD that we can not get any closer.

Let me catch my breath…I can tell you one thing listeners, this job is what we call back home ‘The Badgers Nadgers!’ This crazy shit is better than watching America’s Next Top Hooker, in your underpants with a bucket o’ Cluckin’ Bell and a great big tub of Vaseline.

Wait I see movement. I can see a whole convoy of patrol cars chasing a grey SUV down Burlesque. The SUV is knocking down street signs, light poles and bouncing off parked cars.

KABOOM!

Shit! They are tossing grenades out the window of the SUV! The carnage is insane. I have no idea how these guys are carrying so much ammunition. They have rounded the corner onto Kunzite Street and are heading straight for the LCPD road block. This aint gonna be pretty folks…

I don’t believe it! The crazy fools rammed head-on into a parked LCPD Cruiser and managed to jump the road block, landing somewhere between the two main roadways of the Algonquin Bridge. That’s the maddest shit I have ever seen. We have lost sight of them now and it appears so have the cops. I think they have escaped along the pedestrian bridge below the main structure. I would hate to have been jogging along that when the SUV came smashing through. Ha! Who am I kidding, I can’t jog for shit.

I think they have gotten away, yes we’ve lost them beneath the bridge. Perhaps they changed vehicles. They’re gone folks. The Bank robbers have gotten away. Another kick in the junk, for Liberty City’s boys in blue.

Well listeners, after all that action I’m off to change my draws. This is Denzel Brown, for Radio Broker, your eye-in-the-sky Liberty City.

Article written by Shane Kinloch.